Thursday, January 10, 2008

a poem i just wrote...dr. seuss/match.com inspired!



Congratulations!
Today is the date.
You’re off to match a face to
Those emails you’ve been sending all day.
You have curls in your hair,
Shiny lip gloss and perfume
You can strut your stuff in spankx, skinny jeans
And 3 inch heeled shoes.
You’re on your own and you know what you know.
And you are the lady who’ll decide yes or no.
You’ll look up and down tables.
Look ‘em over with care.
You’ll see a cute guy sitting alone and
Whisper a prayer.
With your shoulders pushed back
And a nervous smile on your lips,
You’re too anxious to remember to wiggle your hips.
And when conversation starts to happen,
Don’t worry. Don’t stew.
Just chat right along and he’ll start liking you.

Except when NOPE.
Because sometimes he’s a dope.

I’m sorry to say so
But, sadly, it’s true
That stuck-ups and yuck-ups
Can happen to date you.
You can like them on e-mail because they seem nice and witty
But in person they’re rude,
Snappy and over-yappy.
They can have a weird laugh
Where their tongue sticks out of their mouth
Or tell you they are currently residing on
Their parent’s living room couch.

And when it throws you in a slump
It’s not so much fun.
And you swear off internet dating-
THAT’S IT. I’M SO DONE.

No!
That’s just not you.
Somehow you’ll regroup
From all that blah-ness and bad-ness
You’ll upload new pics to your profile
And start e-winking like madness!
With a new optimistic view, once more you will try!
Ready for any man under the sky.
Ready to meet a really great guy!
And, will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(in the next 35 years guaranteed!)

5 comments:

bwaymjs said...

AMAZING!!!!!

Taylor said...

Hysterical and perfect. I love it!!!!

tenpolaroids said...

you rule.

Nicole Callihan said...

Ah poet! I see it runs in the fam.

Yasmin said...

oh margot! so perfect and hilarious, i love it!